i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Randomize
