the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
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He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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