Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(651): View more from Minnesota

i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college

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(727): View more from Florida

She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.

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(406): View more from Montana

I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.

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(585): View more from New York

You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.

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(585): View more from New York

I couldn't have possibly been that bad

(716): View more from New York

You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...

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