is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
