Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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