He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Randomize