We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
