Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
There r osticjed everywhere
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
