Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
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