After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Randomize
