Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
