Small penises have feelings too.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
