Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
We have so much sex to catch up on
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
