yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
It's official drugs can't kill me
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Randomize
