I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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