I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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