STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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