I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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