Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
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