ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
