Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
