oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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