i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
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