I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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