The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
She even gives head with a lisp.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
