I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
