you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
