is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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