I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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