what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
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