just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Randomize
