I'm lost and stupid without you.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
I've blown a few things in my day
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
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