But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
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