He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
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I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
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I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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