The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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