At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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