help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize