I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Randomize
