I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
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