By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
