In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Randomize
