The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Randomize
