no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
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