So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Randomize
