i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
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