you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize
