Jerry, you need to find god
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
My ass is underappreciated
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
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