Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
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