yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
