I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
