what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
