Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
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