Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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