Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
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How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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