Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Randomize
