My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
time to smoke my breakfast
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Randomize
