there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
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