I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
