the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
