I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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