can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
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