Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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