Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
