i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
