my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
