Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize
